How can I de-clutter if I can't read the book?

Okay, so here's the thing.

 

As much as I can't get the hang of this blog stuff; I'm not certain I'll be able to de-clutter. It seems such a silly task when there are real things to worry about (the earthquake victims, school, work, ex, kids, mom, money, economy, etc) BUT I want a clean orderly space.

 

Here's why if I can't figure out how to read the book correctly how will I ever be able to do what's in the book? Seems simple. Pick book, open cover, start reading, implement suggestions. If only......

 

the book is divided into 12 months. Each month into 4 weeks (different tasks for each week). The book starts in January. I thought, I'll do January in September , (February in October etc etc etc). Umm. It actually doesn't work that way.

 

I did the January tasks for September. Then I thought, well it'd be nice if the kids have a better routine with the start of school. Thumbed through the book a little more and found September; start the school year off right. Duh. 

 

I wasted September on January and all I got out of it was a pretty clean kitchen. So it's probably worth it. But typical me, I'll probably try to do September and October together.  

 

My point being, if I can't read the book correctly, will I be able to do the tasks. 

 

It's almost 12:30 am and I hear one of my sons cooking in the kitchen. I think he's making brownies so Gabby will have some in the AM. Smells good. but why can't they do it at 10 pm? 

 

My mom is here and that could be a separate blog all in itself. She's a pretty easy houseguest.  She had cataract surgery about three weeks ago. On one eye. She created some drama at the surgery date (I think she was trying to get out of the surgery; I told her no way, I took the day off, you're getting surgery. " Only kidding, well I did say that to her, but she could have canceled it if she really wanted to.

 

She's had glasses since she was 4 years old. The ophthalmologist scolded her for waiting so long, but mentioned that she might see better than she ever had. She said no way. He also told she might not need glasses after the surgery; her reply: that will never happen.

 

Guess what ! it happened. Her fixed eye has 20/20 vision now. She can see colors for the first time in years. And she has taken great pleasure in the fact that she doesn't need the Large Print library books (but I need my readers even with the large print books) but I do.

 

She's also taken pleasure in pointing out that I have more gray hairs than she does (and she's 77). 

 

All in all, it's been a fun adventure.

 

But can I just say, I truly enjoyed that my little kids were with me most of the summer uninterrupted. Going back to the old schedule has been a very hard adjustment for me.  

3 weeks down; 49 weeks to go.

I love the thought of writing this, but I still cannot understand why it's so easy to think of things to write while I'm walking through the halls at work and why it becomes so difficult when I sit down to write it.

De-Clutter Update: 21 days to make a habit.
- that is so much harder than it sounds. My habit attempts for September were:
* take out the garbage (Thursday night and when full): 3
* enter and exit through the garage (ha ha ha ): 0
* complete the dishes after meals, empty dishwasher when clean, do pots, pans; wash counters: 10
* make a schedule for my kids: 2
* hang up clothes when I take them off: 5
* put folded laundry away immediately: 5
Okay so those are (for me) ambitious tasks. But in reality, they do get easier.

I watched my 6 yr daughter take out a CD and put the one she removed from her CD player back in the case and put the case back on her dresser. And I thought, she has it. She has that instinctive clean gene.

Here's another thing I've noticed about attempting to de-clutter. It really IS overwhelming. I can't even commit to writing in the journal every day, how can I commit to de-clutter. A mystery.

My new goals:
* establishing a bedtime routine for myself. That sounds silly, I mean after all, I'm old (48) I should KNOW how to do this, but I don't. I stay up way too late get up way too late and end up tired and crabby. So my new bedtime has to be midnight, so I can get up at 6:15 and eventually start walking on my treadmill.
* getting rid of the paper clutter.

The Journal Questions; Week 1.
Okay the journal questions. While I have not written them in a journal I have attempted to answer them for myself.

Question 1: Family/ home of origin. Were your parents on time? Never. and getting out the door was always a hssale and we were always always LATE. My dad would wait in the car quietly (sometimes honking the horn).
Enough for now. I was going to write some more, but I've had a headache all day and still feel ill.

1 year to declutter???

I'm sure all you very clean and neat people with your houses that are not at all cluttered cannot understand those of us who have clutter; we exist.

I first tried to Feng Shui my house and that worked in part; at least I put color on the walls where I might have left them light yellow like I usually do. But beyond telling me to move this piece of furniture over there and do X, Y, and Z. I"m not sure the Feng Shui practitioner that came to my house gave me the tools to de -clutter.

Every time I try, I end up with a bigger mess and feel slightly annoyed (well, more than slightly annoyed) by the mess. It's funny, I don't mind living in a little bit of clutter, but now that I've started this process, I can't stand the clutter.

Okay, so every book that I've read about why de-cluttering your house is good for you and your family, not one tells you how to do. Not really. Start small, tackle one project at a time is what they say. I don't know how to organize. That I can handle, but when you've lived in (closet) clutter you don't understand what comes naturally to other people.

I used to joke that my house clean was other (really neat) people's house messy That probably holds true.

I've started to read a different book. Actually, what started this was a lecture I heard in Church about taking back your time. It made me think, how do I lose time? I'm always stating to my kids that if they just do things when asked or put their shoes, boots, coats, back packs, etc where they belong they will have more time. But how do they learn that if I don't know how to do that.???

So this new book; 12 months to de-clutter (or something like that) goes room by room. BUT what it does (that I've not seen in other books) is it makes you think about your family of origin and journal. Thinking about how your family dealt with the things in the house is really actually, well, eye opening. My mom is staying with us and while I"ve not learned a ton about her, I've learned a lot about why I say and do certain things.

So, the first chapter was to start a journal (this is going to be it). It's about the family of origin. I'm not going to answer the questions tonight because this is just the start of it.

But the second thing (that occurs in the first week in addition to the journal) is that you have to start two new habits in the kitchen. Mine are: empty the dishwasher (my least favorite task; it ranks just slightly higher than cleaning out the cat box or the frog cage) when it is done and to wash the dishes as soon as they are used. Okay, for most of you this sounds like an easy task. For me, it's not. It's really not. It's actually quite hard. But I am on a mission. Not as exciting as cooking the entire Julia Childs Mastering the Art of French Cooking but then again, I'm not a writer and I have learned to hate cooking, but it will be oh-so-exciting for me.

For people like me, learning to establish the routine is hard. I can purge my junk with the best (if I had the time), but organize it? Organizing the furniture? I've no idea how to do that.

So armed with the only tools I have available (the book and my determination) I set forth bravely to go where many clutter fools have attempted to go... the dismal abyss of our messiness.

One year to an organized life (Leeds). Here I come. I think it should count when my mom or my son do the dishes; after all they got done didn't they? And it's 21 days until something becomes a habit, so I've added a task count at the bottom of the page. After 21 days, I think it should be second hat to hang my keys, put my dish in the dishwasher.

And I yes, I admit (with shame) I used to make fun of the people who always had a perfect house (while secretly admiring the neatness of their house and feeling envious), who seemed anal about putting away their clothes after taking them off (Me, I hang them on the end of the bed until I can no longer see the dresser or they fall off into a heap before I hang them). I thought how does that work? And that is the piece I've come to realize; it is work, but it's work that takes less time if you do it when it needs to be done instead of trying to do it later.

and that is it for tonight. It's late and I have to work.

So 21 days to habit; 365 to a de-cluttered house.

long time no post

long busy summer.

no time for blogging.

who ever thought that de-cluttering a house would be easy. I think it is easy for the people who are already neat. But those of us who really need to de-clutter make a larger mess in the process.

let's see since May:

Alex returned from India (8/1); left for K-zoo

Mom visited; having eye surgery and will be here until December.

Ex-husband gave up most of his time with the kids in July and August. his wife returned from N.M. for two months and is now headed back to NM.

Josh applied to college.

Both little kids had a birthday. LEarned to ride a bike and read. They both attended summer school.

and we got two water frogs and an Italian Greyhound named LeFeviere. I have no idea what it means, but the kids love saying it. I think it either means, I'm on fire or I'm all fired up. But it's a cute little rat dog.

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is a little harder as a single mom. I mean you still have to cook, to clean, to watch the kids. You just enjoy the day a little differently.

While I didn't get breakfast in bed (highly overrated, too many crumbs in the bed) my 7 year old made me breakfast. Interestingly. His favorite egg dish is poached (and mine also), but his sister likes scrambled. How do we solve this problem. We get a big fry pan, fill it with water, when it is boiling we add three eggs (for poached) on one side and then scramble some more eggs on the other side. Water scrambled eggs!. It could be a new trend. Add a little bacon, some cheese, some cilantro (and no salt, because the 7 year old "doesn't like salt. it's not good for you") and presto you have scrambled poached eggs. All in one pan all at the same time. I'm still not sure how he did it, but they did taste pretty good. Maybe it was all the Mive (love) in the food. Who knows.

He then put on a rock show (singing to a Wilco CD). He made a mic out of a sqaure eraser and one of those things you screw onto a pop bottle to make a tornado. Used blue painting tape and viola! a microphone. He danced around the room in a very sultry way. Jump off the chair, over the chair, off the chair backwards (let's not to that very cool thing again ), smacked my hands as he ran by the seating area (and I screamed, "oh no, he touched me. I'll never wash my hands again).

He got Gabby to join in. It's funny I was thinking it's been a while since they made a stage, got out instruments and one plays while the other runs around the "stage" and sings. IT's hilarious. I was laughing so hard my sides hurt.

We went to the botanical gardens, where they were having a plant sale. Got our pictures on the front page of the news paper (and not because Gabby was throwing a temper tantrum in from the the grocery store).

Taught Gabby to ride her bike. Got all the massive amount of recycling ready for the recycling guy. Hosni and Josh played swords. gabby wanted the training wheels put back on her bike.

They made pizza for dinner (using Jiffy mix; because you know it tastes great. It's a good company and you know mom, you can make it in a Jiffy!!). My dishwasher stopped working. But the kids were happy and looking forward to planting the raspberry bush we bought.

I think of the way we Mother. How each of us is a different Mother at different times, but the one constant, the one thing that is consistent for our kids is the love we bestow on them.

I'm curious why my 22 yr old always makes something to eat at 1 am? or midnight. Not usually earlier.

I just finished (and I read it a in its entirity) Love in Condition Yellow. A true story. It made me realize that I unconsciously live my life in condition yellow. I always have a back up plan, always know what I am going to do if someone approaches me.

some days are just bad

some days are just bad. busy, sad, and filled with experiences that i could do without. Filled with decisions I wish I wasn't making.

I wish i could really get the hang of this blog thing.

My day went like this today: People with hi K, Low K; in the end it's really all okay.

Some parents have courage that I can't imagine. And that's really all I'm saying on the subject.

Spent too much time working on projects this weekend and I am still tired. Seriously, dead dog tired.

Need to work, but really want to get the hang of the blog. I have a hard time getting into the Zone; the blog zone.

Why can't I be that person who always has a clean house.



My goals for the second half of this year (and probably of my life):

- finish reading the 500 books on my goodreads list (and really read them)

- finish de-cluttering and feng shui' ing my house

- go on a real vacation

- finish a whole beer

- go to my high school reunion

- make sure my mom gets to her 50th HS reunion (she the morbid 76 year old with an iPod touch) wants to see how many of them are 'left'

- get a new car

- get a real lawn and not just a lawn of weeds

- clean my garage

- figure out this blog thing. Some blog look so cool.

Drive

You know the song by Incubus: Drive. Alex made me a tape when I was pregnant with Hosni; that was the first time I heard Incubus. They have become one of my favorite bands.

Drive by Incubus
Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear
Take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before
And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal
But lately I'm beginning to find that I
Should be the one behind the wheel

I post those lyrics because I helped one of my friends paint her kitchen today. But she had a hard time deciding what color, should it be two toned, aqua or blue or both, etc. I kept telling her it was her kitchen, her house her decision. And those Incubus lyrics kept playing through my head. It made me think of times that I left someone else drive my life or decisions

and how hard it was to stop that. I started thinking about when I get the most worried about things, it really more about what others reaction will be (usually my ex-husband). I think how powerless that makes me feel and how much power that gives to others. Why isn't my decision or reaction enough?

It makes me think about how we give our personal power away by letting other make choices. It's one thing to ask an opinon, but the decision you have to own. So back to painting; after I painted the whole kitchen (while my friend did little things) she stepped back to admire it and decided the word for her kitchen was "Confident" and "Bold". She made the comment that she had not been feeling confident or bold in a long time. The deepness of the color could only indicate someone who was confident. But maybe the color suggests emerging confidence or boldness.

Well, I could write something funny, but right now I'm terribly tired. Painted my mud room and laudry room last night and today painted and primed a whole kitchen. I'm beat.

Striving to make my house as functionally fungshui as possible is more work than I imagined and has taken a long time.