Too many people

There are seriously too many people in my house right now (and sounds I do not recognize). My two oldest boys (24, 22) who SWORE they would never live with me after high school when I bought this current house, are both home. My mom is here for an extended stay for surgery. And the two little ones. In a 3 BR house. WAY too many people.

De-clutter progress. None. I like reading the book and dreaming I can decluter and have the perfectly clean house and organized kids who NEVER scream or flick their fingers at me.

It's like walking on the treadmill; you keep going but you're really not making any progress. None. At. All.

So September is pretty much a wash. Seriously, how do you clean neat people do it?

I'm no longer secretly envious or making snide remarks. I just want the secret. I do. I really do. If I could afford it, I'd pay someone to come over and declutter and make a schedule.

We're having a "spirit" day at work tomorrow (and a tailgate party minus alcohol). We're supposed to wear our favorite teams jerseys. I asked if I could wear Ricky Hatton's ; it was pointed out quite quickly that boxer's do not wear shirts (forgot that). Well going topless at work is not a sight most can see; me with my able to tuck into my pants breasts (unless I wear the bra that perks them up to my shoulders and seriously I have one of those). might be a little much. I 'll settle for wearing jeans.

Okay, I know how I did this (yellow background, purple writing) but I can't figure out how to get rid of it.

September goals:

met: many

not met: most

How can I de-clutter if I can't read the book?

Okay, so here's the thing.

 

As much as I can't get the hang of this blog stuff; I'm not certain I'll be able to de-clutter. It seems such a silly task when there are real things to worry about (the earthquake victims, school, work, ex, kids, mom, money, economy, etc) BUT I want a clean orderly space.

 

Here's why if I can't figure out how to read the book correctly how will I ever be able to do what's in the book? Seems simple. Pick book, open cover, start reading, implement suggestions. If only......

 

the book is divided into 12 months. Each month into 4 weeks (different tasks for each week). The book starts in January. I thought, I'll do January in September , (February in October etc etc etc). Umm. It actually doesn't work that way.

 

I did the January tasks for September. Then I thought, well it'd be nice if the kids have a better routine with the start of school. Thumbed through the book a little more and found September; start the school year off right. Duh. 

 

I wasted September on January and all I got out of it was a pretty clean kitchen. So it's probably worth it. But typical me, I'll probably try to do September and October together.  

 

My point being, if I can't read the book correctly, will I be able to do the tasks. 

 

It's almost 12:30 am and I hear one of my sons cooking in the kitchen. I think he's making brownies so Gabby will have some in the AM. Smells good. but why can't they do it at 10 pm? 

 

My mom is here and that could be a separate blog all in itself. She's a pretty easy houseguest.  She had cataract surgery about three weeks ago. On one eye. She created some drama at the surgery date (I think she was trying to get out of the surgery; I told her no way, I took the day off, you're getting surgery. " Only kidding, well I did say that to her, but she could have canceled it if she really wanted to.

 

She's had glasses since she was 4 years old. The ophthalmologist scolded her for waiting so long, but mentioned that she might see better than she ever had. She said no way. He also told she might not need glasses after the surgery; her reply: that will never happen.

 

Guess what ! it happened. Her fixed eye has 20/20 vision now. She can see colors for the first time in years. And she has taken great pleasure in the fact that she doesn't need the Large Print library books (but I need my readers even with the large print books) but I do.

 

She's also taken pleasure in pointing out that I have more gray hairs than she does (and she's 77). 

 

All in all, it's been a fun adventure.

 

But can I just say, I truly enjoyed that my little kids were with me most of the summer uninterrupted. Going back to the old schedule has been a very hard adjustment for me.  

3 weeks down; 49 weeks to go.

I love the thought of writing this, but I still cannot understand why it's so easy to think of things to write while I'm walking through the halls at work and why it becomes so difficult when I sit down to write it.

De-Clutter Update: 21 days to make a habit.
- that is so much harder than it sounds. My habit attempts for September were:
* take out the garbage (Thursday night and when full): 3
* enter and exit through the garage (ha ha ha ): 0
* complete the dishes after meals, empty dishwasher when clean, do pots, pans; wash counters: 10
* make a schedule for my kids: 2
* hang up clothes when I take them off: 5
* put folded laundry away immediately: 5
Okay so those are (for me) ambitious tasks. But in reality, they do get easier.

I watched my 6 yr daughter take out a CD and put the one she removed from her CD player back in the case and put the case back on her dresser. And I thought, she has it. She has that instinctive clean gene.

Here's another thing I've noticed about attempting to de-clutter. It really IS overwhelming. I can't even commit to writing in the journal every day, how can I commit to de-clutter. A mystery.

My new goals:
* establishing a bedtime routine for myself. That sounds silly, I mean after all, I'm old (48) I should KNOW how to do this, but I don't. I stay up way too late get up way too late and end up tired and crabby. So my new bedtime has to be midnight, so I can get up at 6:15 and eventually start walking on my treadmill.
* getting rid of the paper clutter.

The Journal Questions; Week 1.
Okay the journal questions. While I have not written them in a journal I have attempted to answer them for myself.

Question 1: Family/ home of origin. Were your parents on time? Never. and getting out the door was always a hssale and we were always always LATE. My dad would wait in the car quietly (sometimes honking the horn).
Enough for now. I was going to write some more, but I've had a headache all day and still feel ill.

1 year to declutter???

I'm sure all you very clean and neat people with your houses that are not at all cluttered cannot understand those of us who have clutter; we exist.

I first tried to Feng Shui my house and that worked in part; at least I put color on the walls where I might have left them light yellow like I usually do. But beyond telling me to move this piece of furniture over there and do X, Y, and Z. I"m not sure the Feng Shui practitioner that came to my house gave me the tools to de -clutter.

Every time I try, I end up with a bigger mess and feel slightly annoyed (well, more than slightly annoyed) by the mess. It's funny, I don't mind living in a little bit of clutter, but now that I've started this process, I can't stand the clutter.

Okay, so every book that I've read about why de-cluttering your house is good for you and your family, not one tells you how to do. Not really. Start small, tackle one project at a time is what they say. I don't know how to organize. That I can handle, but when you've lived in (closet) clutter you don't understand what comes naturally to other people.

I used to joke that my house clean was other (really neat) people's house messy That probably holds true.

I've started to read a different book. Actually, what started this was a lecture I heard in Church about taking back your time. It made me think, how do I lose time? I'm always stating to my kids that if they just do things when asked or put their shoes, boots, coats, back packs, etc where they belong they will have more time. But how do they learn that if I don't know how to do that.???

So this new book; 12 months to de-clutter (or something like that) goes room by room. BUT what it does (that I've not seen in other books) is it makes you think about your family of origin and journal. Thinking about how your family dealt with the things in the house is really actually, well, eye opening. My mom is staying with us and while I"ve not learned a ton about her, I've learned a lot about why I say and do certain things.

So, the first chapter was to start a journal (this is going to be it). It's about the family of origin. I'm not going to answer the questions tonight because this is just the start of it.

But the second thing (that occurs in the first week in addition to the journal) is that you have to start two new habits in the kitchen. Mine are: empty the dishwasher (my least favorite task; it ranks just slightly higher than cleaning out the cat box or the frog cage) when it is done and to wash the dishes as soon as they are used. Okay, for most of you this sounds like an easy task. For me, it's not. It's really not. It's actually quite hard. But I am on a mission. Not as exciting as cooking the entire Julia Childs Mastering the Art of French Cooking but then again, I'm not a writer and I have learned to hate cooking, but it will be oh-so-exciting for me.

For people like me, learning to establish the routine is hard. I can purge my junk with the best (if I had the time), but organize it? Organizing the furniture? I've no idea how to do that.

So armed with the only tools I have available (the book and my determination) I set forth bravely to go where many clutter fools have attempted to go... the dismal abyss of our messiness.

One year to an organized life (Leeds). Here I come. I think it should count when my mom or my son do the dishes; after all they got done didn't they? And it's 21 days until something becomes a habit, so I've added a task count at the bottom of the page. After 21 days, I think it should be second hat to hang my keys, put my dish in the dishwasher.

And I yes, I admit (with shame) I used to make fun of the people who always had a perfect house (while secretly admiring the neatness of their house and feeling envious), who seemed anal about putting away their clothes after taking them off (Me, I hang them on the end of the bed until I can no longer see the dresser or they fall off into a heap before I hang them). I thought how does that work? And that is the piece I've come to realize; it is work, but it's work that takes less time if you do it when it needs to be done instead of trying to do it later.

and that is it for tonight. It's late and I have to work.

So 21 days to habit; 365 to a de-cluttered house.

long time no post

long busy summer.

no time for blogging.

who ever thought that de-cluttering a house would be easy. I think it is easy for the people who are already neat. But those of us who really need to de-clutter make a larger mess in the process.

let's see since May:

Alex returned from India (8/1); left for K-zoo

Mom visited; having eye surgery and will be here until December.

Ex-husband gave up most of his time with the kids in July and August. his wife returned from N.M. for two months and is now headed back to NM.

Josh applied to college.

Both little kids had a birthday. LEarned to ride a bike and read. They both attended summer school.

and we got two water frogs and an Italian Greyhound named LeFeviere. I have no idea what it means, but the kids love saying it. I think it either means, I'm on fire or I'm all fired up. But it's a cute little rat dog.

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is a little harder as a single mom. I mean you still have to cook, to clean, to watch the kids. You just enjoy the day a little differently.

While I didn't get breakfast in bed (highly overrated, too many crumbs in the bed) my 7 year old made me breakfast. Interestingly. His favorite egg dish is poached (and mine also), but his sister likes scrambled. How do we solve this problem. We get a big fry pan, fill it with water, when it is boiling we add three eggs (for poached) on one side and then scramble some more eggs on the other side. Water scrambled eggs!. It could be a new trend. Add a little bacon, some cheese, some cilantro (and no salt, because the 7 year old "doesn't like salt. it's not good for you") and presto you have scrambled poached eggs. All in one pan all at the same time. I'm still not sure how he did it, but they did taste pretty good. Maybe it was all the Mive (love) in the food. Who knows.

He then put on a rock show (singing to a Wilco CD). He made a mic out of a sqaure eraser and one of those things you screw onto a pop bottle to make a tornado. Used blue painting tape and viola! a microphone. He danced around the room in a very sultry way. Jump off the chair, over the chair, off the chair backwards (let's not to that very cool thing again ), smacked my hands as he ran by the seating area (and I screamed, "oh no, he touched me. I'll never wash my hands again).

He got Gabby to join in. It's funny I was thinking it's been a while since they made a stage, got out instruments and one plays while the other runs around the "stage" and sings. IT's hilarious. I was laughing so hard my sides hurt.

We went to the botanical gardens, where they were having a plant sale. Got our pictures on the front page of the news paper (and not because Gabby was throwing a temper tantrum in from the the grocery store).

Taught Gabby to ride her bike. Got all the massive amount of recycling ready for the recycling guy. Hosni and Josh played swords. gabby wanted the training wheels put back on her bike.

They made pizza for dinner (using Jiffy mix; because you know it tastes great. It's a good company and you know mom, you can make it in a Jiffy!!). My dishwasher stopped working. But the kids were happy and looking forward to planting the raspberry bush we bought.

I think of the way we Mother. How each of us is a different Mother at different times, but the one constant, the one thing that is consistent for our kids is the love we bestow on them.

I'm curious why my 22 yr old always makes something to eat at 1 am? or midnight. Not usually earlier.

I just finished (and I read it a in its entirity) Love in Condition Yellow. A true story. It made me realize that I unconsciously live my life in condition yellow. I always have a back up plan, always know what I am going to do if someone approaches me.

some days are just bad

some days are just bad. busy, sad, and filled with experiences that i could do without. Filled with decisions I wish I wasn't making.

I wish i could really get the hang of this blog thing.

My day went like this today: People with hi K, Low K; in the end it's really all okay.

Some parents have courage that I can't imagine. And that's really all I'm saying on the subject.

Spent too much time working on projects this weekend and I am still tired. Seriously, dead dog tired.

Need to work, but really want to get the hang of the blog. I have a hard time getting into the Zone; the blog zone.

Why can't I be that person who always has a clean house.



My goals for the second half of this year (and probably of my life):

- finish reading the 500 books on my goodreads list (and really read them)

- finish de-cluttering and feng shui' ing my house

- go on a real vacation

- finish a whole beer

- go to my high school reunion

- make sure my mom gets to her 50th HS reunion (she the morbid 76 year old with an iPod touch) wants to see how many of them are 'left'

- get a new car

- get a real lawn and not just a lawn of weeds

- clean my garage

- figure out this blog thing. Some blog look so cool.

Drive

You know the song by Incubus: Drive. Alex made me a tape when I was pregnant with Hosni; that was the first time I heard Incubus. They have become one of my favorite bands.

Drive by Incubus
Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear
Take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before
And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal
But lately I'm beginning to find that I
Should be the one behind the wheel

I post those lyrics because I helped one of my friends paint her kitchen today. But she had a hard time deciding what color, should it be two toned, aqua or blue or both, etc. I kept telling her it was her kitchen, her house her decision. And those Incubus lyrics kept playing through my head. It made me think of times that I left someone else drive my life or decisions

and how hard it was to stop that. I started thinking about when I get the most worried about things, it really more about what others reaction will be (usually my ex-husband). I think how powerless that makes me feel and how much power that gives to others. Why isn't my decision or reaction enough?

It makes me think about how we give our personal power away by letting other make choices. It's one thing to ask an opinon, but the decision you have to own. So back to painting; after I painted the whole kitchen (while my friend did little things) she stepped back to admire it and decided the word for her kitchen was "Confident" and "Bold". She made the comment that she had not been feeling confident or bold in a long time. The deepness of the color could only indicate someone who was confident. But maybe the color suggests emerging confidence or boldness.

Well, I could write something funny, but right now I'm terribly tired. Painted my mud room and laudry room last night and today painted and primed a whole kitchen. I'm beat.

Striving to make my house as functionally fungshui as possible is more work than I imagined and has taken a long time.

bald is out

Bald is out. Now he is growing it out so he can put it in a pony tail. It bothers him (it must feel weird) when we rub it. But gosh does he look cute.
one pony, two pony, we're having some interesting hair days at my house.

unexpected lessons

it's been so long i had a hard time remembering my password!!!
been to new york and back. Kids milked cows, drove and rode tractors. Saw cousins.
heard again from Alex: loves India; hates Jaipur (too touristy??? !!!!)
My kids have gotten out the sewing machine (it's about 20 years old, but works great). They have been stitching on fabric; just shapes. Hosni made this long piece of white fabric and sewed it into a hat. He wrapped it around his head like a turban. Then he wanted to alter it to make it pointy.
He was discussing how this would happen with Josh. I was in the kitchen cooking dinner. I heard Josh say; well I don't think a pointy cap would be good. You know a long time ago people were bad (really bad) to other people. It's better now, but it still happens. They were mean to people because they were black. They picked on them. It's called racism. They wore pointy hats like you want to make. So, we don't believe in racism, so you can't change your hat to pointy. It looks cute like it is"
Hosni came into the kitchen and told me the conversation (which I heard anyway). And he said, so you know that's bad right. But I LIKE pointy hats, why can't I make one? Is that true? I said; yes it is true. They were called the Klu Klux Klan and no you can't make your hat into a pointy hat. It looked so cute when you wrapped it (around your bald little head) around your head.
But as he walked out of the kitchen I thought; amazing out of sewing some designs on white fabric and making a cap comes a lesson about the evils of racism.
and then I thought: Josh needs to be a teacher. I keep thinking about how good he is when he helps the little ones with their homework. maybe I can encourage it. Right now they think they are going to be fashion designers. (My sewing machine has NEVER gotten this much use)

We planted a lot in our garden and hopefully will get a community garden plot.

My kids school had a silent auction: we won a "fairy door" and a lot of organic seedlings (eggplants, peppers) etc. So I need more gardening space.

The summer is going to be a wet one in my back yard. Already the slip-in-slide has been out (two days), the hose attached to the slide (because simply running down the slip-n-slide is NOT fast enough), a whole bottle of dish soap used (to make you go faster on the slip-n-slide), and a lot of neighbor kids in swimsuits playing. The back yard was a huge puddle. I said no to the pool.

The back stairs are finished

Well Gabby is up for her nightly I need my mama and the kids are already begging for the airconditioning. hopefully no heart pain tonight.

traveling, seeing old friends

My two youngest children and I just traveled to my hometown (well at least where I lived from 13 on). We stayed with my best friend from high school.

It was a long drive; which threatened to be longer when my daughter asked about 5 mins into the 7 hour drive; "are we there yet? how much longer". I said, we can turn around and go home and than the drive would be over. She decided it would be worth the trip.

About hour 6 1/2 we passed a little farm by the side of the road. I pointed out the llamas. Gabby demanded that we stop; which we did because we had not stopped in hours. We realized that not only did they have llamas, but a zebra as well as horses, cows, and ponies.

The very first day, my children jumped onto a tractor with my friend's brother, Bobby, and her son, Luke. She said, we'll get them in a while but let's get coffee first.

By the time we got back, they were having milk and cookies at Bobby's house. Hosni had driven a little C, and a tractor. He was ready for milking. Which he did, for about an hour.

We saw lots of family, the new baby, and old high school teachers and friends. It was a great trip. We listened to The Golden Compass on audiobook on the way home. A great story even on tape.

We're going to rent a house there for the summer, where I am sure my then 8 year (still bald) son will learn to hay.

But until then, it's back to school.

I loved seeing old friends. I mean the ones that you don't often think about except in passing (HS best friEnds are not part of that group). they often radiate warmth and it makes me think about how easy it was to have friends. HS best friends are just always your friend, they are always in your heart. Part of who you are. Their families become part of you as well.

It has made me think a lot about how we interact, how some people (and I guess all of us in some respects have this aspect of our personality in the right setting) HAVE to take over and be the center of attention. I do , usually when I'm trying to make people laugh. It's like talking to people on Facebook, every wants to put their best face (some pun intended) forward. That is a whole different conversation.

skiing with the Barbies

Finally heard from Alex, in India. Of course, he's loving it. I think part of what he hoped to accomplish in India was to break his constant companion, his computer. He left it here and now it has become Joshua's constant companion.

Gabby has so many barbie's it is almost insane. Yesterday, we took the barbies and put on their snowclothes (yes, they have their own snow outfits) and skiis (seriously with boots and poles) and went outside and took them skiing. There were little tracks all over the lawn (snow) and slide. It was a bit funny, actually. We took photos, I'll try to download them.

This night, we played Starwars (which i never win and usually end up on the floor with pretend choke holds). I just don't get the game. Running around with light sabres, well that is kind of cool.

Becoming "Bulbed"

Last night was my second child's 22 birthday day. He often cuts his own hair, but last night he decided to cut his 7 year old brother's hair.
Off. Completely. Buzzed. as in Bulbed (as my kids say) meaning BALD.
My son Josh, the 22 yr old, said, "Mom, he wanted me to shave it ALL off. I said no. I didn't think you'd like that"
I guess he thought I'd be okay with bald, just not really super down-to-the-skin bald.
*
A bald seven year old. UMMM.
*
well, as soon as I got over shrieking "What were you thinking?" and "Did it occur to you to ask first? "(umm obviously that answer is NO). And after I got over the moments of panic thinking my ex-husband was going to freak and worrying he was going to be made fun of at school; I realized he looked really cute.
I mean really cute in a bald-kind-of-fuzzy way.
*
then my daughter decides, after her bath, to cut her bangs. Geez oh Pete what a night. Had to straighten the bangs out (barely).
*
The girls at daycare shrieked in horror? excitement? amazement? I'm not sure. but he had a good day at school.
* Unfortunately, he has not understood when I call him Telly Salvalis or Sinead O'Connor.
*
Lesson learned: "bulbed " hair is cute on a 7 year old. Especially when they can't take their eyes off themselves in the mirror. He LOVES his hair cut. Touched it all night long. Rubbed it in a loving excited way; loving the softness. His lesson learned; even with no hair you still have to use shampoo when you wash it!

getting started

was harder than I thought. Just picking a name took days. Searching for the Blue Stone is a reference to a book called The Blue Stone. It refers to a tale about life's possibilities, choices we make, the general longing we all have for peace, security, home, and love.

We'll see where it goes...

but for now, it goes to bed.